2 - A man of simple pleasures!

[deusexmechanic]

I want you to stick a hungry Magog in Rex Lewis's, room seal all the exits, and jettison it into deep space. Never to return!

[There's a long pause, then, almost as an afterthought, a "Dear Santa" is smooshed into the top corner, above the FESTIVE COMMAND!]

[Another few minutes pass, and the following is scribbled underneath it.]

Gimmie a couple of mongooses too. Just in case.

Comments

[requiresssacrifice]

Mongooses? And here I thought you weren't afraid of the Admiral fulfilling my request.

He hates you SO MUCH right now :c

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Who says I don't just like mongooses? I bet If I'd had a host of particularly stupid minions, they'd all call me "Mongoose Engineer", just to illustrate my love of mongooses.

Why do you mock Cobra Commander :C

[requiresssacrifice]

That doesn't even make sense.

Because you threatened me with Cobras :c also for the lolz :c

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's a pretty stupid title I guess. I could probably come up with some contrived excuse for it, but it'd still be a pretty stupid title.

well enjoy some spazzing then :C

[requiresssacrifice]

There's nothing contrived about Cobra! It fits the organization!

That IS pretty enjoyable!

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

You just wanted to be named after your favorite snake!

[requiresssacrifice]

If I did, I'd have called myself King Cobra, not Commander.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Okay, look, let me just pose two questions to you:

1) Who named the organization "Cobra"?

Let me guess, you.

2) Who appointed you Commander?

I'm gonna go with... also you. And by some wild coincidence, you end up with a title which includes the name of your favorite snake, without accidentally declaring yourself a monarch.

[requiresssacrifice]

Well.

[SEETHE]

COBRA JUST FIT.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Sure it did.

[requiresssacrifice]

You know nothing.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Go stick your prehistoric snake oil would be supersoldiers up your respirator.

[requiresssacrifice]

The neovipers were perfect! There wasn't a single flaw in their design, other than the simple fact that they were still human.

[MORE SEETHING. And then curiosity :c]

And just what is a "magog", anyway?

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Ugh, they're disgusting, hairy, freakin' parasites. They come in swarms and implant their eggs in you and they eat their way out and the moment they break through they're ready to move on to their next meal. All they do is eat and breed and eat and breed, they lay entire planets to waste.

You'd love them.

[requiresssacrifice]

Fascinating. You come from a Ridley Scott film.

This isn't actually actually true, since ANDROMEDA HAS NO CONSISTENCY.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking you're going to have to set your references about a thousand years later if you expect me to get any of them.

[requiresssacrifice]

A shame. You miss out on some entertainment.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you know, amazingly ancient video literature isn't the be all and end all of entertainment where I'm from.

[requiresssacrifice]

Of course. You make due with incessant sarcasm.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Hey, the sarcasm happens to be a defense mechanism that I employ against whiny wannabe scary megalomaniacs. We might not have any Ridley Scott movies where I'm from, but we can't seem to get rid of all the people like you.

[requiresssacrifice]

Perhaps because people like me are nothing, if not persistent.