(no subject)

[deusexmechanic]

Admiral, take all the tech out of Rex's room, any personal projects, gone. Gimmie copies of the notes from whatever he's working on.

Take away his access to privacy filters on his journal, and... stick his snakes and his mice in my room. For now.

[Pause pause pause.]

[Filtered away from Rex]

If anyone needs me I'll be in my cabin or in the engine room. Anyone has a problem with my inmate outside of the obvious right now, then you can bring it to me there.

[Private to Data]

...

...

...

Jeeze, man, I'm so sorry.

Comments

Spam

[hopeless-hacker.livejournal.com]

Tosh hadn't really braved the network herself yet, because she didn't feel like there was much she could say to anyone that wasn't either surplus to requirements or would just make the whole situation worse. But Harper...under the influence of the nanomites she had been selfish. Apathetic to anything besides her own satisfaction and the fulfilment of Rex's orders. She had lied to him, and even though she hadn't been fully at the reins, she wanted to apologise for it.

There was no response at his cabin, so she tried the engine room instead. She stepped across the threshold and cleared her throat quietly.

"Harper?"

Spam

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Harper was working on rebuilding the security that he'd torn down under Rex's orders. What this meant was that he was slumped limply against one of the engine room consoles, with a thick wire jacked into the cerebral port on his neck. Consciously, he was working, trying to piece back together the damage he'd done, immersing himself back into his work and trying to forget the gnawing fear that this had happened because he hadn't done enough.

His head tipped back lightly, breathing steady and even. Just like he was sleeping.

Re: Spam

[hopeless-hacker.livejournal.com]

She hesitated. Tosh had seen him using the cerebral port before, but not at such a complex level of immersion that he was outwardly unconscious. She wondered what it was like to be able to connect with a machine on such a deep, intuitive level - to disconnect from a more confusing world in place of one ruled by logical laws -

No. That was Cyberman talk. She glanced at the console to get an idea of what he was doing, then accessed the other console to run diagnostics while she gave the engine a physical once-over for any damage sustained in the fight. The room still bore a lot of the marks of recent violence and it didn't take much for a small piece of debris to get lodged in something.

Spam

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Harper felt the diagnostic run begin at the far end of his consciousness, and realized that meant he must have company. His eyelids fluttered, slightly, before he finally opened his eyes and reached up to unplug himself from the console.

"Hey." He called out, a little blearily, before pushing him up to catch sight at who was working with him, "Toshiko? Hey, how's it going." He tried to keep his voice light, but there was a weariness to it that he couldn't quite shake.

Re: Spam

[hopeless-hacker.livejournal.com]

"Fine. I'm fine. Just getting on with it, you know? We've all got things to be doing." She felt like she'd spun the same line after a lot of disasters and - well, it had never really rung true, had it?

She briefly disabled part of the system so she could reach in and pull out a piece of - it looked like it had been part of the door at some point - before it would be driven any deeper into the mechanics. Then she glanced sidelong at him.

"How are you doing?"

Spam

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Harper got to his feet, and approached her, resting one hand on the console, "Yeah, I'm... I don't know. I'm furious with Rex. Like... I don't know, I don't even think I should talk to him right now, because I have got nothing to say that he's going to wanna hear."

He let out a bit of a breath, before glancing towards Tosh again, "On the upside... I got my memories back. I remember being here again."

Re: Spam

[hopeless-hacker.livejournal.com]

She was going to point out that fury at Rex had been normalised by the fact that almost everyone was experiencing it just then to some degree, but she was distracted by his next remark.

"Oh. You remember everything? That's - that's great." She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that we knew each other. By the time you came back, I was -- and I wouldn't have done that if I hadn't been."

Spam

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

"It's okay. I know you would have told me normally." Harper finally stopped when he reached her side. "Actually, there was something that I meant to tell you, before I left. I just. I didn't know how to say it." He paused, then glanced down to the console, suddenly taking a great interest in it, "When you went into a coma? I kinda... the relationship I was in ended. Because even though, the girl I was with, was great..."

And, he carefully reaches out for Toshiko's hand, trying to catch hold of it, "...She wasn't you."

Re: Spam

[hopeless-hacker.livejournal.com]

The startled look on her face would have been funny in any other context. She didn't take his hand, exactly, but she let him take hers because she was too bewildered to do anything else. Her stock in herself had hit zero and kept dropping shortly after Thomas Wayne had vanished; she hadn't had an Inmate for almost three months and it was difficult to believe that it was for any reason other than that the Admiral wouldn't trust her with the care of anyone who had shown up in that time.

Maybe it was an ugly trait, but she thrived on recognition. It wasn't enough for her to know she was special; she wanted someone else to see it, to pick her out from a crowd and acknowledge her. Now Harper was doing precisely that and the conflict with her malignant self-image was painful.

"What are you saying?" Her voice was quiet but calmer than she felt.

Spam

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

She didn't pull her hand away from him, so Harper closed his hand around hers, and stepped closer to Toshiko, now facing her straight on.

"What I'm saying... is that, I don't want to have any more near misses with this. I don't want this to just be sex when I have amnesia or kissing when the Barge makes us. You're beautiful, and you're a genius, and I really, really just want to try and make this work between you and me. I mean, if you wanted to."

Re: Spam

[hopeless-hacker.livejournal.com]

"I do." She said it almost too fast, before she even had the chance to try telling herself that she didn't deserve it, that she didn't deserve to even try to be happy. Once she'd said it she couldn't take it back. She moved her hand in his grasp, curling her fingers around his, and put her other hand very carefully on his shoulder. She met his eyes and said it again, with more weight.

"...I do want to."

Spam

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Harper, to his credit, resisted the temptation to punch the air in victory. Instead, he debonairly slid his free arm around Toshiko's waist, and pulled her forward into a kiss.

Victory.

Spam

[hopeless-hacker.livejournal.com]

Toshiko made a surprised little 'mph' noise at being pulled closer, but the half-formed comment about this being inappropriate conduct for a workplace environment was lost when he kissed her. It had been a ridiculously long time since she had had any sort of intimacy while entirely herself, and it was all too easy to wrap her arms around his neck and return the kiss.

[Private]

[empirical_data]

I do not recall you doing anything that you were at fault for, Harper. Apologies are unnecessary.

But your friendship, as always, is appreciated.

[Private]

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

I recall a couple of things. Like, oh, I don't know, fixin' to knock you down and rip you up for parts?

[Private]

[empirical_data]

I am aware of your urges to explore the intricacies of my construction. I still feel that you are not responsible for your actions.

I am sorry for the difficulties you have encountered, and that I have contributed to them in any way.

[Private]

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Hey, don't you get into an apology war with me Data, you don't have anything to feel bad for here, so you really can't win here.

Private.

[toldastory]

When things calm down a bit, Harper, I'd like to talk to you about some of the things Rex said when he injected me.

Private.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

...Was it to do with you tattling about his rape, or liking Judas better than him?

Private.

[toldastory]

No and yes in a round about way. It was about his using me as an excuse to avoid redemption. His words, not mine.

Private.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

[Pause. Pauuuuuuse. He was going to just rage about how Rex had to get over his shit, but that was... some eerie self awareness there.]

What'd he say?

Private.

[toldastory]

That he'd considered me responsible for him pushing away from redemption, but that he'd know it wasn't malicious for some time. And that he'd actually liked healing people in the infirmary. What he injected me with... it took that away from me, my ability to heal and help people. It took away my ability to care. I don't know how he did it, but I understand why.

Sometime far down the line, when things calm down for him and everyone else on board, I'm going to offer him a position in the infirmary, when you think he's ready, because now I know what that's like and how horrible it is.

He and I are even now, and I won't suspect the worst of him again.

Private.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

You didn't take away his ability to--

[SEEEEEEEETHE]

Now? He fucking deserves to have you think the worst of him. Boo hoo, you kicked him outta the infirmary, if he'd been a bit less proud and bitter, and less of a jerk? Then he could have just approached you to offer his skills again! It doesn't justify destroying your mind! If he'd won? If he'd succeeded? That change would have been permanent, Martha! Don't you freakin' dare trying to tell me that doing that to someone is the moral equivalent of screwing up and making a bad call on someone.

You wanna forgive him? Great. You're a very good person. But don't say you're even.

Private.

[toldastory]

I'm meaning even in the fact that I'm not going to beat myself up over this anymore. I've beat myself up over it for a long time, and I've let Rex say whatever he wanted to against me. I'm not going to do that anymore.

And don't think I'm not completely furious, because I am. I'm extremely furious. I'm furious he completely destroyed nearly everything that was at the core of me. I'm furious because I'd rather be dead than that and I hate that I know that about myself now. I'm furious about what he's done to my friends and everyone aboard this ship.

But I also know that somehow, in some way, the Doctors would have figured something out once they knew what it was, and they would have fixed it.

Private

[lotoftrouble.livejournal.com]

Can I please turn him into a mongoose?

Private

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

No. I don't need two mongooses.

[AKA: YES :c]

Private

[lotoftrouble.livejournal.com]

I'll take care of it. I'm sure dear Freya will love a temporary playmate.