36

[deusexmechanic]

[Private to the Infirmary Staff]

It's taken the rest of

I need someone to come to Toshiko's room right now. She's breathing, but she's been she's not moving. I can't wake her up.

Someone should I'll drop her inmate a line about it.


[Private to Owlman]

Hey, you're Toshiko Sato's inmate, right?


[Private to Team 'Barge Cooked My Brains Out']

The Barge put Toshiko in a coma. Does anyone else

[Pause. Kind of too long a pause.]

Why does this happen?

[Private to Uhura]

Hey. You wanna get together? Go hang out in the CES or something?

[Private to Santa]

Give her her soul back. Give all of us our souls back you evil bloodsucking son of a bitch!

[Pause]

Okay, sorry, I just... yeah. I guess I'm a little on edge right now.

Give everyone in the engine room some of that stuff I got in the Christmas port. Nougat, right? Yeah, give them all some of that. And different stuff too, uh, give Shego... a punching bag. I mean, a non-fleshy one. And give O'Brien... I don't know, some books by Karl Marx, I guess? I mean, he's communist, right?

Get Data some cuddly toys, like, maybe four or five, and definitely include a monkey and a dog in there.

Actually, give Uhura cuddly toys as well. No, give her one cuddly toy... and it should be like... a seal. Or a sea lion. Or a Polar bear. One of those cute things that used to live in the arctic. And... some roses. Give her some roses, and a bottle of champagne.

[Pause.]

Or give me that stuff, and I'll give it to her in person.

Give Howie some Cowboy boots. [Pause] And a cowboy hat.

Give Rex a map of the known galaxy and a high powered telescope, so he can like... I don't know, discover constellations, or try and map where we're going or something. And give him something alive that isn't either a snake, or food for snakes. I'm thinking butterfly enclosure.

I want... I don't know. Stuff for Rommie, I guess? Stuff for work?







Look, I want her to wake up. Just let her wake up, and nothing else matters.

Comments

brain burned trauma filter. sorry, he's no help.

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

Because the Admiral wishes to exert control over us, remind us, comrade, that we are his every whim and control, if he so wishes.

brain burned trauma filter. Boo O'Brien!

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

[Weird, strained half laugh.]

You're a real stuck record sometimes, you know that Comrade?

Re: brain burned trauma filter.

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

Only because I speak the truth, comrade.

Comrade Persson will be back, as will the Eastasian Comrade Sato.

brain burned trauma filter.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Yeah yeah, and everyone else just accepts that and figures that nothing else happens but--

I get it, okay? I get that she'll come back, but what's happening to her now?

Re: brain burned trauma filter.

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

I don't know, comrade.

I don't really care. There's nothing you can do about it, what does it matter, it's just a power play?

Re: brain burned trauma filter.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Who says we can't, maybe you can't, but who says I can't?

[Congratulations, O'Brien, you've got him thinking now.]

Re: brain burned trauma filter.

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

Go ahead and try, comrade. You'll fail, and wrestling against a system that will eventually overpower you? Is merely proving the system's power.

[Team BCMBO]

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Admiral hates us.

[BRIEF PAUSE. She has marginal sympathies for the rest of Team Burnout, and she's kind of assumed that you and Tosh have been knocking boots for a while, Harper. Nerds gravitate towards each other right. :c It's just physics.]

...Barge comas are a thing, right? They've happened to other people, so...she'll wake up just like they did.

[Team BCMBO]

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but why do they happen? Why do they happen to the people they happen too? What do they achieve? What's it doing to her?

Private

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Hey. Cool off. She'll just be asleep for a week. Whatever's going on, it can't be weirder than the death toll.

Private

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Right. I know that. I just-- What does the death toll actually do to us? And hell, the death toll at least kind of makes sense? I mean, so violent inmates can't kill each other or themselves and screw other people's second chances up? What does this achieve?

Re: Private

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Whoa. Harper. You're thinking too hard, knock it off. Is this what happens when nerds don't get laid?

It's happened before, other people have just woken up and gotten on with their lives, your girlfriend will not be any different. If you're gonna start asking what Barge nonsense achieves then you're gonna be here all day.

Private

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

So no one else ever bothered to ask before? No one bothered to try and make sure that their friends were all right? What if there's a reason, and it's bad, Shego? What if whatever's happening to them when he does this... what if it's messing with her? What if there's something inside her head and it's--

[Okay... he wouldn't be saying this if it wasn't Tosh, and they hadn't all been eaten by the Barge, he's freaking out more than he should be.]

Yeah, right, no, I am definitely thinking too hard.

Aleera would race to assist! But isn't employed there... :c

[vampish_aleera]

Srry Aleera :c

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Private

[lt-n-uhura.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Absolutely.

Everything alright?

Private

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Yes. I mean, everything's fine.

[Pause]

Or not. Okay, maybe a whole lot of not.

[Longer pause. God, this is the worst day.]

There's something I need to talk to you about.

Private

[lt-n-uhura.livejournal.com]

Okay. I'll meet you in the CES, alright? You can tell me there.

Private into SPAM!

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Yeah. All right,

[It takes him maybe ten minutes to get to the CES, and inside it's distractingly picturesque. Golden sunlight, streaming down onto pastoral green grass. It had kind of a Garden of Eden vibe to it that any other day, Harper would have eaten up.

Right now though? It just felt wrong. Wrong to be somewhere so beautiful when he felt so horrible. He sat down on the grass, and dropped his head into his hands.]

SPAM!

[lt-n-uhura.livejournal.com]

[Uhura was a little after him, and she stepped inside, blinking against the sudden light. When she saw Harper, she headed towards him, feeling more than a bit of concern. Sitting down beside him, she put a hand on his knee.]

Hey.

SPAM!

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

[Harper turned his head to the side a little, not quite able to look at her yet.]

Hey.

[He closed his eyes, and braced himself hard.]

I didn't think I was going to have to tell you about this. I just figured... I never thought it was ever going to be anything more than... a bunch of things that happened before I knew you, and that were never going to hurt anyone.

[Harper swallowed, then finally came out and confessed:]

There was a girl here on the Barge who-- before I met you, who I had sex with a few times. She actually... I figured... she was the same as you, really. Every time something happened between us, she was ashamed of it. Couldn't get out fast enough.

Some stuff happened, we had this long discussion about... about some pretty dark things that were going on with her, and the next day, same as ever, she was leaving. Like, off the entire Barge, leaving.

SPAM!

[lt-n-uhura.livejournal.com]

[She flinched a little at the ashamed part, but only because it had been true once. She was ashamed. But...not anymore. That wasn't the important thing, though. She kept a hand on his knee as he explained.]

And then she came back? [She didn't know who, obviously, but she could guess where this was going.]

SPAM!

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

And then she came back. [Harper confirmed.] And... I told her that what had happened with us before couldn't happen again, and that I just wanted to be her friend, and that was going to be fine, but... she just keeps on getting hurt. [He dropped his head down into his hand, he hadn't planned on how this was going to go, what he was going to say, or how he was going to feel about it, but now that he was finally telling her all of this... Harper could feel a weight settling in the pit of his stomach. He felt like he knew where it was going to go.]

She fell into a Coma today. I found her in her room, along with... there was a letter to me.

SPAM!

[lt-n-uhura.livejournal.com]

[Call it womanly intuition, but Uhura had a feeling she knew where this was going, too. In fact, this was what she had been fearing since they had slept together that first time. But she said nothing. When he shifted position, her hand moved to wrap around his shoulders and she leaned against him slightly.]

Oh, Harper...what did it say? [She could guess.]

SPAM!

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

[He leaned into her embrace instinctively, wrapping his arm around her waist without even thinking about it. Then the realization of what they were discussing hit him, and he quickly looked away.]

It said that she loved me.

[That came out too fast, his voice almost offended, almost incredulous, like he could barely believe it himself] And it said... it said things about the last person who she'd loved, and how worthless he'd made her feel, and-- [He let out a short, harsh breath. He's not quite over the experience of it yet, reading the letter while she'd been lying there and being struck with this sick, heavy hatred for someone who he'd never met because her life should be that unfair. She should never have to feel that rejected...]

I can't even tell anymore if what I feel for her is affection, or friendship, or maybe I just... I just wanna fix her or whatever, and I've got to be completely insane, because-- because no one, not in my entire life, ever treated me like you do, no one ever made me as happy as you do, and no one-- not her, not my crew, hell, not even my family, no one ever made me feel like they-- [His voice breaks, and he controls himself] -not like they wanted me, as much as you do.

[He let out a breath, and finally, finally looked at her. God, he was actually going to do this, he was going to make the worst mistake of his life, right here, right now, and actually do this.] I love you... I love you, and I can't... I can't believe I'm saying this, I can't believe that I'm not just-- [He let out a short, pained breath, and dropped his head back into his hands.]

I don't trust myself anymore. Even, if it's nothing, even if it's just that I'm too freakin' stupid to know the difference between loyalty and love... I feel like I'm betraying you. Or like I've already betrayed you.

SPAM!

[lt-n-uhura.livejournal.com]

[Uhura listened stoically, though she was struggling to keep back her emotions. Be calm. Be neutral. It was the only way she could save herself now. She set her mouth tightly in a line and prayed that, when she spoke, it would be full of strength, rather than hurt. She didn't want to be ugly to him. Or hateful. This was obviously something that was completely tearing him apart and...she wasn't going to make it better by trying to cling to something that he didn't want. The "I love yous" fell on deaf ears. Because that's wasn't right. It wasn't fair for him to say that and follow it up with what she knew was coming.]

Then it's over. [It wasn't a question.] I don't want this to hurt you any more than it already is, alright? [Her gaze softened and, not for the first time, she was glad that she had done some meditation with Spock.]

It's okay, Harper. Really.

SPAM!

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

[It's okay. It's fine. Hadn't that been what Toshiko said, when she first found out? When he'd first said no to her? And hadn't he known it wasn't fine and told her it wasn't fine and tried to make it better? And now wasn't it just worse?

So maybe Harper didn't believe Uhura, maybe he wasn't falling for it, but this time he wasn't going to argue. Instead he just let out a breath.]

Then it's over. I'm sorry.

SPAM!

[lt-n-uhura.livejournal.com]

[She gave him a bit of a hug, but there was ice in the gesture.] Don't be sorry, Harper. Look, we're still friends, right? We were friends to start out with. And...as your friend, I'll still be there if you need me. [Looking away, she swallowed again, rubbing her face. Tears...tears meant that it was time to go. She stood up.]

I need to go check on Ana, though. I think she starts work in the infirmary soon and I need to be with her.

SPAM!

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

[He hugged her back, but it was a short, awkward motion. She was being so grown up about this, he should be able to do the same. Clinging to her, or breaking her ribs? Would really lack class, considering he'd been the one who'd done this.]

Hey, same to you, okay? You ever need anything from me, and I'll come running.

[His voice was breaking a little, so he pulled away quickly and turned his head down.] Right, yeah, I should go find Rex soon. [For some reason. Whatever, at least he'd said something.] I'll see you around, Uhura.

BCMBO Filter

[ourlastbesthope.livejournal.com]

Don't ask why, Harper. It's not going to do anything.

It's happened to others before.

BCMBO Filter

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

You're a scientist Capa, how can you not even ask?

So it's happened before, so what? Why did it happen to them? Why does it happen at all?

BCMBO Filter

[ourlastbesthope.livejournal.com]

I don't ask why. I ask how.

'Why' is for philosophers and people who want to sit around frustrated with their lack of answers. 'Why' is subjective. 'How' is not. Give me a while and I can figure out 'how.'

You could give me a million years and I'd never figure out why.

Re: BCMBO Filter

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Okay. So how? How does he choose who to do this to? And how does it happen? And how is it affecting her? I just...

Sorry. I wish I understood what this place was doing.

BCMBO Filter

[ourlastbesthope.livejournal.com]

How does he choose them? I'm assuming that it's random selection.

How is it affecting her? Ask her when she wakes up. Tosh has always struck me as fairly analytical.

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

I'll be there promptly.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Right. See you soon.

Infirmary.

[toldastory]

Bugger. I'm coming; I'll meet Omega.

Infirmary.

[deusexmechanic.livejournal.com]

Okay, thanks.

barge burned trauma filter

[doctor-scarf.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, Harper.

As for why the comas happen? I honestly don't know. I thought that it had something to do with the multiverse and all our different timelines. The Barge goes from different universe to different universe, with people from all sorts of timelines and universes. It must be horrible on people's brains, especially if they haven't gotten used to multiversal travel before. The Reapers fix holes in time and space, perhaps the barge comas fix holes in people? Or at least, they give humans a chance to 'recharge their batteries', to coin a phrase.